• Kidnapper: Get in the fukin van
  • Me: Oh ok cool
  • Kidnapper: Wut
  • Me: This is a febreze commercial right
  • Kidnapper: Wut
  • Me: Smells pretty shitty in here to me tbh

68,134 notes

  • a dog: makes a dog sound
  • me: i know, i know. i understand. me too

87,284 notes

miss-nerdgasmz:

I WANT A TRUE HORROR MOVIE WHERE ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE INTELLIGENT AND DO ALL THE RIGHT THINGS AND TAKE ALL THE PROPER PRECAUTIONS BUT STILL WIND UP GETTING KILLED BY THE ANTAGONIST

NOTHING IS SCARIER THAN DOING EVERYTHING YOU CAN IN VAIN AND STARING IN THE FACE OF FUTILITY
(plus I would like not to yell at the characters for being dumb for once)

409,706 notes

sleeplvss:

A makeout session would be great right about now

98,357 notes

homme-brella:

I WENT TO TARGET TODAY AND SOMEONE BENT THE FUCKING AD FOR THE IPHONE I DIED

homme-brella:

I WENT TO TARGET TODAY AND SOMEONE BENT THE FUCKING AD FOR THE IPHONE I DIED

128,839 notes

warpedtoursmoshpit:

so i saw memphis last night // please don’t repost. this is my photo.

warpedtoursmoshpit:

so i saw memphis last night // please don’t repost. this is my photo.

66 notes

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

never let your printer know that you waited until the last minute to print something and you’re in a hurry. they can sense fear

23,778 notes

8bit-ace:

8bit-ace:

the new slogan for tumblr.com

i will not rest until this gets a million notes

8bit-ace:

8bit-ace:

the new slogan for tumblr.com

i will not rest until this gets a million notes

(Source: gemlings)

275,431 notes

channelyouranger:

headonyourchest:

blackcatandme:

I stood naked over him and took a picture

Why do I love everything about this

this is so cute

channelyouranger:

headonyourchest:

blackcatandme:

I stood naked over him and took a picture

Why do I love everything about this

this is so cute

(Source: )

281,207 notes